![]() ![]() But the Actuary to the Red Queen took a different view. Contributions and pensions each averaged about £2bn per year, investment returns had averaged £5bn or so a year, and there was £60 billion – now £80 billion – in reserves. The finances of USS then seemed to be in rude health. The last time she had fallen down the rabbit hole, Alice recalled, she had been treated to a convoluted explanation of this phenomenon. The younger faculty feared for their future. The ‘technical deficit’ of USS yawned even wider than it had done on Alice’s last visit. But no, the Mad Hatter explained, this was a commiseration, not a celebration. The portraits of benefactors hanging on the walls seemed to beam down in pleasure. Their generous pensions would fund the replenishment of the College cellars into the next century. No wonder they were celebrating, Alice thought, surveying the drained glasses. But, the March Hare confided, the assets of the Universities Superannuation Scheme (USS) had increased further, to over £80bn. ‘Have a cup of tea’, the Mad Hatter suggested but Alice saw only bottles and glasses of wine, mostly empty. The assembled dons were discussing the Universities Superannuation Scheme, as they did so often nowadays. ![]() In the absence of the Dean, the Mad Hatter was presiding at High Table. Alice opened the door to the Hall of Wonderland College. ![]()
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